ImpatientBoss tries to communicate telepatically, fails

An angry email this morning at work, cc'd to another boss as well:

"Koodiorjatyttö! Why is the thing X for the functionality Y not done yet? With all the time spent on Y we should have been a lot further ahead already! What are you doing all day?"

Answer:

"This week I have been doing thing A, thing B and thing C (none of which relate to Y). Y works pretty much fine, I was not aware that there is anything that you want me to do about it urgently, but if there is, just tell me what it is. Yeah, and fucking X is not fucking done yet because we fucking discussed it three fucking times last week, and every fucking time you specifically fucking told me not to fucking do it. Not to mention that currently we don't have enough fucking data to do it anyway."

Edit all the instances of "fucking" out, send the mail.

Two hours later, still no answer.

Koodiorjatyttö: Hey, ImpatientBoss, I sent you an email...
ImpatientBoss: I haven't read it yet.

This is what he always answers if you ask his whether he has read your email. I am starting to suspect that there is some kind of a pattern here with him neither listening what people say nor reading what people write.

I explain all of the above verbally, editing all the unprintable words out. Get a laugh instead of an apology. Mind you, I realize that laughing might be his way of apologizing, but yet again I am not a fucking mindreader. I am wondering whether he realizes at all that this kind of stuff tends to piss people off. And if not, is it too late to explain that kind of thing to a person in their mid-thirties?

I guess part of the problem is that I am starting to give up on explaining anything to the guy, because I just know he won't listen to anything and won't remember anything the next day. Or the same day.

At some point I started wondering whether he is some kind of a sci-fi character who is moving back in time, but then he should remember the things that I will explain to him tomorrow, right?

ImpatientBoss

There is a guy at my current job called ImpatientBoss. He wants everything to be done right now and without any bugs. He also wants everyone to communicate well.

Nothing bad about this, mind you. I also want world peace and eternal youth and uncorrupted data from our customers and a few hundred million euros as a bonus. Not gonna happen, though, and most of us learn it when we are 5 or so.

He sort of knows it too, he is just trying to express his frustration, and he is somehow socially inept about doing it. He tends to complain about things is a fairly accusatory tone. I try not to blow up in his face, and have so far been successful, but there is only so many times a person can listen about a particular data import being too slow. If it takes ten hours, it takes ten hours, and what does he want me to do, pedal the computer sthat it would crunch numbers faster?

I have had to deal with him only since recently, because he is doing something with the reporting database and I feed some of the data to the Koodiorjapoika who is in charge of it. The ImpatientBoss thinks that Koodiorjapoika and me don't communicate well enough with each other or him. Mind you, he is often right and often we really don't communicate well enough, and we should, but there is only one person among the three of us to whom I have to explain things five times before they finally get settled in his head, and that ain't Koodiorjapoika. ImpatientBoss is certainly not stupid, so the only explanation I can think of for him failing to understand things after the fourth time is that he Never. Fucking. Listens.

I kind of feel bad about the whole thing, because I know I am not a queen of interpersonal communications myself, but constant bad-communication upbraiding from a person who expects me to read his mind and never listens to anything is starting to get on my nerves.

If this goes on, one day I will catch him in some dark corner and read him a very detailed lecture on our data problems. Every single one of them, and I won't let him out of that corner until he has understood and remembered them all.

SNAFU

SecurityGuy: Argh, argh, we redirected the domain to PeelotRUs and it doesn't work! Why? Why?
Koodiorjatyttö: It doesn't work immediately. Probably will start working sometime today.

Half an hour later:

SecurityGuy: Argh, argh, our new webpage is not working! Why?
Koodiorjatyttö: Am I supposed to know? Looks like PeelotRUs have their database server down. Ask them.

The next day:

SecurityGuy: Argh, argh, our new webpage is not working! It was working yesterday. Why?
Koodiorjatyttö: Their database server is down again. This is one of the reasons I told you you don't need a dynamic webpage.

Adventures in domain forwarding

SecurityGuy: I want our website's hostname to point to the IP of that page that PeelotRUs made for us.
Koodiorjatyttö: Go ahead then, contact your registrar.
SecurityGuy: You do it.
Koodiorjatyttö: All right, give me the username and the password.
SecurityGuy: What username? What password?
Koodiorjatyttö: The ones you have used when you registered your domain.
SecurityGuy: Can't you do it without them? I have no idea. Can't you do domain forwarding at my ISP?
Koodiorjatyttö: They only do the domain forwarding for the domains you have registered with them. The one you want me to change is registered with DomainsForDummies and you need to give me the username and the password of your account there if you want me to deal with them. Call me back when you find them. Bye now.


A while later:

SecurityGuy: I figured that having a username and a password would make your job a lot easier. Here they are.

I go to the DomainsForDummies page, log in, and notice that this particular account deals with a completely different domain, which also belongs to SecurityCompany.

Koodiorjatyttö: You gave me the wrong username and password. You seem to have another account with these guys, too.
SecurityGuy: Try ******* for password.
Koodiorjatyttö: What's the username?
SecurityGuy: I have no idea. Rautaorjapoika!
Rautaorjapoika: What?
SecurityGuy: What's our username and password for the registrar of this domain?
Rautaorjapoika: I have no clue.
SecurityGuy: But you registered it!
Rautaorjapoika: That was long ago.
SecurityGuy: You better find it or else you'll have to call them.

(sounds of SecurityGuy and Rautaorjapoika swearing)

I ordered the registrar to send the username and password to the account of the administrative contact, who is SecurityGuy. Now if I only manage to get him to resend this to me I just might get it done...