VileFoulAndEvil: the DisgruntledMathematician
The DisgruntledMathematician had served his mandatory two years in VileFoulAndEvil that you need to buy out your stock options and was trying to buy his stock options:
CompanyLawyers: You can buy them but you can't sell them without the permission of the board!
DisgruntledMathematician: But that means I can't buy them because I'd have to pay the taxes immediately and gamble on whether or not the stock will fall before the board gives permission.
CompanyLawyers: Exactly!
DisgruntledMathematician: That's not legal.
CompanyLawyers: Read the fine print. We are doing it according to the laws of the SmallEuropeanCountryThatIsNotFinland. Everything is legal.
After a few weeks of this, on a nice Friday afternoon:
DisgruntledMathematician (in an email sent to every employee of the company): My dear soon-to-be-ex-colleagues! I found a better job than this shithole and will be starting there on Monday. Yeah, and by the way the company is about to fuck you all over with the stock, just like they fucked me over. Read the enclosed email exchange between the company lawyers and myself.
Panic and hand-waving ensued both among the employees and the management, and continued for a week. It would have stopped all work, but we were not doing anything anyway.
On Tuesday, the EastCoastCity branch general meeting:
DumbBoss: The project X had three managers, and one DisgruntledMathematician who was writing all the code. Now that the DisgruntledMathematician has left, who the hell is gonna write the code?
CompanyLawyers: You can buy them but you can't sell them without the permission of the board!
DisgruntledMathematician: But that means I can't buy them because I'd have to pay the taxes immediately and gamble on whether or not the stock will fall before the board gives permission.
CompanyLawyers: Exactly!
DisgruntledMathematician: That's not legal.
CompanyLawyers: Read the fine print. We are doing it according to the laws of the SmallEuropeanCountryThatIsNotFinland. Everything is legal.
After a few weeks of this, on a nice Friday afternoon:
DisgruntledMathematician (in an email sent to every employee of the company): My dear soon-to-be-ex-colleagues! I found a better job than this shithole and will be starting there on Monday. Yeah, and by the way the company is about to fuck you all over with the stock, just like they fucked me over. Read the enclosed email exchange between the company lawyers and myself.
Panic and hand-waving ensued both among the employees and the management, and continued for a week. It would have stopped all work, but we were not doing anything anyway.
On Tuesday, the EastCoastCity branch general meeting:
DumbBoss: The project X had three managers, and one DisgruntledMathematician who was writing all the code. Now that the DisgruntledMathematician has left, who the hell is gonna write the code?
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